Hello, 911.

My son has an addiction to the telephone. He nearly hurt himself climbing the back of the couch to reach it on the bar so many times that we tried two different things:

1. Move the couch.
2. Move the phone.

Neither one truly worked. The couch just needs to be on that wall for optimal room function. Now, with the phone gone he still climbs up there in hopes of discovering it accidentally placed there. (We have left it there on occasion instead of taking it to the cradle.) Before you get worried and think the little guy has been seriously injured, that is not the case. But we're going to need to teach him that 911 is only for moments like that and not just to call on any occasion.

The other day he got a hold of my cell phone and accidentally called 3 people. If you have been pranked recently - it may have been my son. I apologize. When we realized that my dear husband, not wanting another temper tantrum (as is usual when the phone is taken away) took the SIM card out of my phone instead and quickly gave it back. We knew that these phones can still call 911 - but seriously, what were the chances. Unfortunately we didn't know that this particular model of phone changes the the Internet button (topmost right button) into an SOS button. All he had to do was press that button twice. (Once for 911 to be prepared to dial, twice to put it on Speaker and dial away.) Who designs these stupid phones anyway?

Luckily for us it was on speaker! Here is what happened:

I heard:
OP: "911, please sate the nature of your emergency. Hello... 911. Hello?"
At which point I ran over and grabbed the phone:
ME: "Oh my gosh I am so sorry, my son has been playing with the phone. I'm so sorry." Of course the dear little one starts screaming at the top of his lungs because I have taken his most prized toy away.
OP: "Is everything okay Ma'am?"
ME: "Yes, I'm so sorry. I don't know how he got you, he's only 13 months. Oh my goodness. I'm sorry."
OP: "That's okay Ma'am. Is everything okay there?"
ME: "Yes of course, I can't believe this. Oh my, I'm sorry."
OP: "Ma'am is it just you and your son there?"
ME: "Yes, and my husband is here too."
OP: "Okay Ma'am, is everything okay between you?"
ME: "Yes, oh, seriously, it was just my son calling by accident, I'm so sorry."
OP: "Okay then. You might want to turn off the phone."
(Ha ha - tried that one, he can turn it back on already.)
ME: "Oh yeah, okay I'm sorry. Thanks."
OP: "Alright Ma'am have a good afternoon."
ME: "Thanks. Bye."
(AAAAHHHHH!)

Let's just say the phone is no longer a toy. We did buy a toy Spiderman cell phone for him to play with though.